


Sometimes (Trying is harder then giving up)

by StuckInALoop



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Dead Tony Stark, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Female Peter Parker, Gen, I project onto penny, I think I need help, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One-Shot, Penny Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker-centric, Self-Harm, Short, Short One Shot, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, depressed character, i'M SAD, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27664349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StuckInALoop/pseuds/StuckInALoop
Summary: Penny Parker triesUntil she can't___________Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and actions, self-harm, minor swearing
Relationships: May Parker & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	Sometimes (Trying is harder then giving up)

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm so I'm sorry this is short this is mostly a vent fic because I haven't been feeling the best lately anyway enjoy
> 
> ___________
> 
> Song fic loosely based around the song 'You're somebody else' by Flora Cash
> 
> Bold: Lyrics

Maybe it started when her parents died, or maybe it started when Ben died. It was like someone was squeezing her lungs and heart until it hurt so bad she couldn’t breathe, _every day._ Some days it was better some days worse, but she couldn’t tell May. May was trying her best. Hiding her pain behind fake smiles and cheerful words, but she saw how much she was hurting since Ben died. 

**_I saw the part of you that only when your older you will see too, you will see too_ **

She kept it to herself. Until she couldn’t tell what was real happiness, where fake smiles were second nature, and fake laughs came naturally.

**_I held the better cards but every stroke of luck has got to bleed through, has got to bleed through_ **

She didn’t know when she started inflicting pain on herself. It just started with digging her nails into her thighs and then purposely burning herself when she was cooking, and then cutting herself with steak knives from the kitchen.

**_You held the balance of the time_ **

**_That only blindly I could read you_ **

**_But I could read you_ **

It always felt better when she bled so much she couldn’t feel; When the pain was so numbing the choking grip loosened its hold.

**_It's like you told me_ **

**_Go forward slowly_ **

**_It's not a race to the end_ **

Then she woke up and the cycle repeated. Why couldn’t she get a break? One fucking break? What does the universe want? 

**_Well you look like yourself_ **

**_But you're somebody else_ **

**_Only it ain't on the surface_ **

The thoughts started coming.

_Off yourself._

_You know, May would be way happier without you._

_Mr. Stark doesn’t actually care, dum dum._

_Just a little deeper and no more pain._

**_Well you talk like yourself_ **

**_No, I hear someone else though_ **

**_Now you're making me nervous_ **

It almost scared her, almost but not really. They were comforting. Something she could rely on being there for her, they never left _never abandoned her. concrete falling on her. and I can’t fucking breath why cant I fucking breath why can’t someone see me? I’m alone, help me, help me helpmepleaseIcan’tdothisanymore-_

**_You were the better part_ **

**_Of every bit of beating heart that I had_ **

**_Whatever I had_ **

There was a big battle

Apparently, she was dead for five years and Tony now has a daughter.

And a wife.

She missed the wedding.

And he’s dead

**_I finally sat alone_ **

**_Pitch black flesh and bone_ **

**_Couldn't believe that you were gone_ **

No one needs her now, May is starting to see, but she can’t see she’ll see too much and then she’ll try fixing me. but I can’t _be fixed I need helpineedhelpineedhelp-_

**_Well you look like yourself_ **

**_But you're somebody else_ **

**_Only it ain't on the surface_ **

She cut a little too deep and passed out, May found her _Why did she have to find me? Please let me die I can’t do this anymore._

**_Well you talk like yourself_ **

**_No, I hear someone else though_ **

**_Now you're making me nervous_ **

May’s mad. So she snuck out.

Now she’s on a bridge.

The views a good one to see before she dies.

The cold was welcoming.

**_Well you look like yourself_ **

**_But you're somebody else_ **

**_Only it ain't on the surface_ **

**_Well you talk like yourself_ **

**_No, I hear someone else though_ **

**_Now you're making me nervous_ **

What was she worried about?


End file.
